time

a concept i believe no one has been able to master. when something injures your soul and you are trying to recover, the only thing to do is push through. but how long do you have to push through? when will it stop hurting? when will you feel like yourself again? well, people always say time. time will pass and you will just feel different one day. you will wake up with a smile on your face instead of with a tear on your cheek. and although i believe thats true, time does not have to be the one thing on your mind when you are in recovery. you do not need to keep track of how many days have passed or give yourself a deadline to start feeling better. sometimes the key to distracting yourself from the idea of time, is living. purely just living your life. skip that class, go out with your friends, have a bag of chips; no one is stopping you. only you can defeat in your head the battle of

time.

when life hits you

the morning is the hardest part. forcing yourself to go on throughout the day because you know that’s what you need to do. giving yourself a few minutes throughout the day just to have a breakdown. one minute head down the next minute head up, let’s go gigi you say. just got to get through one more thing. forcing yourself just to have one more bite even though you feel full after two. asking your brain to just stop thinking for one second, but knowing that it’s not going to listen. day after day feeling the same, hoping that one day it is going to be different.

it’s harder to lift your head up then it is to keep it down, but sometimes that’s just what you have to do

when life hits you.

deep within.

“we cannot direct the wind, but we can control the sails”

dolly parton.

a new movie was recently released on Netflix. this piece of art is called, Dumplin’. this inspiring, loving, comical, feel-good movie made me realize something. for a while now i have been struggling with the image of my body. i feel that that is a natural feeling for people. we tend to focus on our insecurities or our faults. when really we are our own biggest critics. i have always struggled with myself and body image. this movie reminded me of something very important. 

you are beautiful. no matter your size, no matter your faults or insecurities. you should never question your beauty. it is what makes you, you. each and every part of you, has been pieced together for a purpose. you are a piece of art.

as a society, we must continue to support one another. our actions should be full of passion that exemplify kindness and love. you are on a journey with yourself. some days will be easier and some days will be harder. whether or not this was something you needed to hear, i want you to know that you are not alone. be patient with yourself, but most importantly be kind,

deep within.

now.

the future is intimidating. the unknown factor of the future leaves me in the present filled with anxiety and stress. sometimes the future becomes so overwhelming that you do not know how to react to it. and in times when you are in your bedroom all alone, crying to yourself curled up in a ball, just know that the future does not matter. it’s the present, the now, the gift of today that matters most.

many people have told me not to worry about the future, that the future is a gift that will be full of happiness. but i think that’s bull shit. i can’t not worry about something, and no one can tell me the future. i believe it is your thoughts and emotions in the present that will bring you to the future. your thoughts of sadness, your thoughts of hurt, your thoughts of greatness, hope, and love. your thoughts are greater than anything else, they will bring you from the despair of the future to life found in the present.

so yeah, sometimes the future is intimidating. but my thoughts and feelings of love and hope are greater than what i feel right now. and that is how i know that the future is full of greatness,

now.

 

 

today.

“stop waiting for friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.”

pursue your own happiness. life is difficult, but none the less, we just wanna be happy. finding commodities in life that make you happy is important. so many people want to pursue so many passions, but something always stops them. the voices in their head tell them that they are not good enough, that they don’t have the talent, that everyone will think they are stupid for trying, but in reality the only person stopping you is you.

today is a new day. a day for sadness, happiness, laughter, and joy. it is your day to make it whatever you want it to be. i hope that you wake up this morning with the energy to turn on some jams (*cough cough jon bellion’s new single JT*) and have yourself a mini dance party. take this day into your hands and make it your own. there are so many times during a day that i have let other people’s actions or emotions affect mine. each day there will be good and bad. so i am telling you now, whatever it is, do it. do that thing that makes you jump up and down from the inside out. put yourself out there, and be vulnerable with the world. i challenge you, and i challenge myself to take charge of our lives today.

it is your life. do what makes you happy, find yourself through your passions and happiness. you deserve to be happy. so go out and take charge,

today.

 

you are enough.

there are many times during a day where i get down on myself. I tell myself that i am useless, worthless, stupid, and not good enough. but i think that the root of the problem, is that i compare myself. “wow she is so much thinner than me”, “i worked so hard and i still got a bad grade, they did so much better than i did”, or “why can’t i be like her?”.

comparing yourself to others is a habit. it is an irritating way to make yourself feel like you are less than the person sitting right next to you. it is a never ending mind game of negative thoughts that creep through the back of your mind. it is a day to day habit that is difficult to break, but even more difficult to forgive.

but through all of the personal hate that you tell yourself, there has to be forgiveness. you have to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself before you can say, “i am enough”. because i know that you are enough, but that doesn’t mean anything unless you know that you are too.

instead of looking at yourself in the mirror and reminding yourself of everything that you don’t like, focus on something new everyday that you do love. counteract your hate with love towards yourself. “she is thinner than me, but i am still beautiful too”, “it’s okay, i will work harder next time”, or “i am awesome too”.

teach your brain to be kind to yourself. because you are beautiful, you are loved, you are kind, you are happiness, you are joy,

you are enough.